Dear Phillip

Three years ago today, we posted the “…is happy. :)” status on Facebook. There it was, up for our friends to see – up for their wit to comment with memorable, albeit cheesy puns. It didn’t really confirm anything other than just that – you and I, we were happy at the same time.

Truth be told, those two words didn’t contain all the feels that I had at that time. I don’t think it described how confident my decision was at that moment – to be with you, to trust you even though you were 3,000 miles away.

I was happy of course, but what I really meant wasn’t just the usual smiley-face type of happy. That happy came with “I’m fucking lucky that at 24, I finally have someone who laughs at the same things that I do. Best part is, he also happens to love me!” It also came with “I am glad that he doesn’t think I’m too miserable, too gloomy, too heavy booted, to be worthy of loving.” It was the kind of happy that woke me up each succeeding morning less worried, because finally, I wasn’t too lost anymore, somebody found me.

Three years later, married and all, I am so glad we still are – happy.

I love you baby, to the universe and back and back again. Happy Third Anniversary. :*

Dear Phillip

This picture was taken on the second day we've been together after almost two years of being apart. Imagine that, two years; three if you count the previous months. Anyway, I think you took this after we just went down for breakfast. With the jet lag, I assume my eyes were still heavy after the little nap I had while you were sleeping. That night, I had a couple of shots of that tequila thinking it would help me catch some Z's. It didn't work so I found myself in front of your laptop, watching Girls instead. In a conversation with Mike in Facebook at that time, I had told him how incredibly happy I was to be at that moment, watching Dunham, with you falling asleep right next to me while holding my hand.

It might not be much, but to me it felt more than comfortable, it felt like a long sigh of relief - it felt like we deserved that specific time of just you and I, and the whole quiet of Ortigas just below us at 3 in the morning.

Shoebox of photographs with sepia-toned loving? We're getting there. Here's to our first month. :* I love you and I miss you everyday.

Dear Des

It's been a month since the roller coaster ride of our life :p it was fun and surely memorable, another month more baby and the ride of our life truly begins :*, i miss you so much wifey ko i love youuuuuuuuuuuu :* see you soon!

Dear Phillip

Almost a year later, here I am in Paris again and I don't think it really means anything but this, well, this post is just to say that I love you, and I miss you. Both terribly.

Dear Phillip

This blog was supposedly my surprise to you for today--but because I am rather impatient, impulsive, and at times too excited much too much about us, I gave myself away and have showed it to you far before our second anniversary. Well, except this post.

I am typically like that as a person, and most likely as a girlfriend. There has been numerous times in the past two years of our relationship that I have somehow lost my patience and have based my reaction on a whim rather than reason. What I’m saying basically is that I think I am a trainwreck and sometimes, in quiet times, I have asked myself how could have I possibly deserve the love that you give.

I don’t know, baby. In fact, there are a lot of things that I don’t know. I don’t know how many percentages of long-distance relationships work and don’t. I don’t know how many important moments, or days, or celebrations have we missed in each other’s lives. I don’t know how I am in Paris, the most romantic city in the world, and you’re not here.

But there are also a lot of things that I do know. I know that this, our, long-distance relationship works. I know that even if we’re apart, or how much we think we’re missing moments, we will ultimately make new ones together. I know that whether far, or soon, I will be home. And I know that the best place in the world is always, will always be right next to you.

I love you, baby. I love you then, I love you now, I love you every moment in between. Happy Second Anniversary! :*:x